People have so many annoying online habits, but a lot of the time, it’s things that can be stopped. We’ve all done them in the past, but we’re into 2014. Add these bad boys to your New Year’s resolution list. It’s no longer 2005, no-one is going to think you’re cool.
N.B. This article could coincide with the fact that I’m getting old. I no longer want to spend every Saturday morning waking up with a colossal hangover, and I no longer want my whole life broadcast across social media. So either these things really are well and truly dead, or I’m just past it.
1. Fictional Names
Apart from on Twitter, where a made up name is almost mandatory because someone in China who never tweets has taken yours, there’s no need to make up a name. Don’t add a ‘quirky’ middle name to your Facebook profile. We all know your real middle name is Alan, and that your real surname is Smith, not Smithington-Brown III.
The only time this is acceptable is if you’re under the age of 18 and you don’t know better.
2. Photos from Every Night Out
The novelty of uploading photos on Facebook has seriously worn off. No-one wants to see every single photo that you took of you and your three other friends on a night out. How have you had time to take 203 pictures anyway? Shouldn’t you just concentrate on having a good time?
3. Game Requests
I’m sure more people than are willing to admit enjoy a good game of Candy Crush, but there’s no way they’re going to want anyone else to know about it, so shamelessly spamming every single one of your Facebook friends is just rude.
Just wait the obligatory 24 hours just like everyone else, and maybe go outside for a little fresh air.
Don’t even get me started on Farmville. If you’re still farming since its peak in about 2009, fair play. You must have made some serious dollar on those crops.
I’m a surprisingly passive person for a Scot (unless you insult my country or my family and friends, then I’m coming for you), and the only thing I find more pointless than fighting in real life is an online squabble.
There are so many reasons for this, but it’s mainly to do with the fact that it’s usually two people having it out over one of their opinions. It’s never going to end well or at all. People seem to forget the fact that just because they don’t agree, doesn’t mean that the other person isn’t entitled to their opinion.
There’s nothing more off-putting than seeing someone embroiled in a full on argument in the aftermath of another persons post. Grow up.
5. Facebook Relationships
A relationship doesn’t have to be on Facebook to make it ‘official’. I’m not sure who coined the term ‘Facebook official’ but they deserve a slap in the face with a soggy fish.
No-one should get to decide anything about anyone else’s relationship, and broadcasting the whole thing across a social network could end up biting you in the ass. Sure it’s all nice and romantic when you first get it up there, but when the whole thing goes to shit a few months or years later, then you have to end it publicly on your news feed. Cue a barrage of inquisitive (nosy) friends and acquaintances.
I was surprised to discover the other day that poking still actually exists! Who knew?! Now that services like Tinder and Plenty of Fish are around, the need for the trusty Facebook ‘Poke’ to let people know you fancy a piece of them has become well and truly obsolete.
7. Relationship-specific posts
When people tweet or post to their other half’s page when a simple text will do. There’s absolutely no need for it, and I can guarantee there is no-one else in the world who gives a shit.
Stop it immediately.
8. Spelling and Grammar Nazis
This is getting a bit ridiculous. The only people on social media still riding that pedantic gravy train are the ones that either have no sense of humour or want to pretend that they’re really intelligent (spoiler, they’re really not).
At the rate content is churned out these days, there are going to be spelling mistakes and misplaced apostrophes. Yes, it’s annoying, but just let it go. No-one gives a crap and they’re not going to change it just because you’ve pointed it out. The only thing you’ve achieved by flagging it up is make it look like you have nothing better to do, and that you’ve got some sort of English language stick up your arse.
9. ‘Like’ Invitations
People have seen the page for your band/new business/friends hair salon. If they wanted to like it, they would’ve done it already. Please stop asking.
10. Friend numbers
I remember the days when everyone was desperate to have as many Facebook friends as possible. Now I’m annoyed by the fact that 249 people can see all my info, and I am trying to shave down that number as much as possible.
There are people in my feed who have over a thousand friends, and I struggle to even comprehend how that could be possible!
On a side note, I’m also a little miffed that Facebook changed their settings last year so you can no longer choose to hide your profile from coming up in searches for your name on the site, but that’s by the by.
I feel so exposed.